By K.A.Pendergast
It was really all my fault to begin with! I should have never listened to Donna and began that stupid whole food plant-based diet! I am no ‘fanny fitness freak’ by any standard. My concession to greens and healthy eating is usually just some pickles in my burger lol. Donna was all slim and amazing looking now since she began this new lifestyle that I just had to give it a try also. My jeans had gotten too uncomfortable to wear for very long so that helped make my decision this morning. I went to the store and got all kinds of green and brightly coloured foods in the produce aisle. I then checked out some uncomplicated recipes and tips for simple meals and applied myself to the task of planning out a few day’s worth of ‘good for me’ meals. I chopped vegetables and made a soup that actually smelled pretty amazing even if I do say so myself. Then I mixed up a decent looking stir fry to freeze for later. I decided that I was finally ready to relax so I went about getting it all ready. I already had a bunch of green stuff chopped so I put together a sandwich to go with my ‘new’ lifestyle….ugh lol. It consisted of some of the least yucky green foods that I figured would go together. Long skinny cucumbers instead of bread for the crunching, and spinach leaves with fat mushroom slices, a few almond slivers, some sprouts, finally a little guacamole to help it hold together. I even had some broccoli and cauliflower with dip. I felt very self righteous when I put it out on the side table next to my chair and went in to get my juice and magazine. I had no sooner shut my sliding screen door when I heard s loud noise behind me. To say I was shocked doesn’t cut it at all. I was totally floored! Seriously! Right there in my yard not fifteen feet away was a gigantic honest-to-goodness moose! I was frozen to the spot! Holy crap! Now, being a Canadian resident for the last thirty +years I knew that it could stomp on me like I was an ant so, I stayed put. That flimsy screen door surely wouldn’t stop him. All that hard work put into that meal made me nearly cry but I knew it was no use. He was finished in a mere minute or so and glanced up right into my eyes. I kid you not, he licked his lips! I was hopping mad by then but stood my ground as he slowly inclined his head almost as a thankyou and turned away and ambled off. I didn’t even get a single picture so I knew no one would believe me. I hardly believed it myself!!! I stood there a couple minutes with my mouth open but not moving. Finally I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head and walked over to the counter to get myself a P.B,&J sandwich figuring I would begin the ‘green’ eating later, and a glass of wine to go with my action novel that just didn’t quite seem as extreme and thrilling as I had imagined before the day a moose ate my lunch!
Did he really?